Let Me Be

How do you mend a broken heart?
A heart that was shattered again and again but keeps on loving the same man who broke it?
My world is broken and so my heart is.
The hardest part is waking up each morning knowing he’s gone.
No more morning calls, no more cuddles and the worst are no more “I love you too”every time you’ll say “I love you”.
We all know that it takes seconds to say hello BUT it takes FOREVER to say goodbye.
Moving on is easy but it is the memories you need to leave behind is what makes it hard.
I won’t ever leave you no matter how many times you say I leave you.
That’s what you feel and see but do you ever care to know what I feel during the days you thought I leave you?
I love you ever since you have my YES but I can’t stand seeing us being trapped on the same broken feelings.
There is no such thing as fall out of love when it’s all about your first love.
Because they say that first love never dies and I do believe on that.
I never fall out of love with you because I know it was real when I saw your face during the time I hurt you the most.
Let me be the one to suffer all the consequences I’ve done way back.
If only I believe in every word you said, we could be the happiest couple living together.
But everything was all in the past now and the present is my punishment for leaving you.
For being too weak in fighting the love that we lost the moment I said goodbye.
I’m sorry if kept my love away from you.
I’m sorry for not trusting and believing in every word you said.
But it is hard to pretend that I don’t care during the times I want to hug you.
It’s hard to pretend that I don’t ever love you when my heart is shouting only your name.
If only I close my eyes and listen to my heartbeat, I will never fall out of love with you.
So let me be the one to suffer and see you walk out of the door.
Let me be the one to cry all night long until this pain lasts.
and let me be the one to be broken and see you love someone else.
So I’m telling you for one last time and GOODBYE…
But if you love me still then stay, don’t keep me waiting for that final kiss.
I just need to get this off my chest, that you will always HAVE MY HEART.
Let me talk to you for one last time to say the words that I should say 10 years ago.
All I want to tell is “I LOVE YOU” and always will.
You’re the part of my heart that will never stop from beating.



Have you ever been in a scenario wherein you feel so stupid?
That you woke up one day and everything you did yesterday was already forgotten?
That you just realized that you are not the person you met before?
Something had changed but you don’t know what it is.
A part of your brain tells you that there is something wrong but another part tells that it’s part of you growing up.
You don’t even know if you are totally growing up on the right side or not.
You want to bring up the person you are yesterday but you don’t know how to do it.
Something is surely changed.
But only you can answer all those questions that your brain is throwing unto you.

Maybe you just need a break from the reality and free yourself from stress.
Also, you need to lessen using your mobile phones for the sake of checking your social media accounts just to be updated with those people whom you are checking.
It is time to grow up on the other side since your current side seems not working.
It is time to put down your mobile phones and meet people in person whom you miss the most.
It is time to mentally grow by researching useful topics on the internet for personal use.

Life has unending lessons.
It is up to us how we are going to teach ourselves not only based on our experiences but also on what we read thru the internet.
It’s time to grow up for your own personal growth.

And at the end, God will never give us any problem that we can’t go thru. He has his own reasons for why these things happened. We might be questioned him today but we will receive his answer sooner or later.

Just keep the faith.


My Heart

I can’t say goodbye ‘cos my heart doesn’t want to.
I can’t bear to see you leaving ‘cos my heart tears into two.
I don’t want to see you go ‘cos my heart will always look after you.

But what can I do?
If you left us with nothing to choose.
You left us hearing nothing until your last breath.
You left ME in just a blink of an eye.
I thought we will fight until the end but what was just happened?
I don’t know how will I react the moment I read about it.
You left me without anything to hold on.
Why did you do this to ME?! TO US?!
Leaving me without hearing from you is when you hit me right through my broken heart.
It’s like, you leave me alone on a dance floor without knowing the reason why.
My heart wants to shout but only silence is all it can do in reality.
I didn’t just lost a FRIEND but also someone whom I called a TRUE FRIEND.

It will take time to heal, the broken heart you leave.
But I know one day, it will eventually accept the fact that you are gone.
I will miss you for your boldness up to the very small part of you.
I will keep everything like a treasured gold that no one else can get away from me.
It might be too late to say,
But you are the future husband I was expecting when I was still in college.
Too late to say but only in front of your gravestone is where I can confess it.
The letter will forever keep together with the love you gave.
I’m sorry if I just said it too late but I don’t regret anything because we remain friends until the very end.

You might leave me brokenhearted but I will never forget the love you showed to me.
It will always be remembered because you are my friend that turns into my lover.

Until we meet again, my friend and my lover.


Please, stay…

I want you to stay, never go away from me.

 When was the last time I heard those words coming from your mouth?
I never thought that leaving each other’s heart is the only resort that we have.
But what can I do if you already leave me without telling me the reasons why?
You leave like I was nothing to you because you left me without saying goodbye.

Now that you’re gone.
Here I am lost somewhere, where no one will find my broken heart.
I love you but that doesn’t mean that you will stay beside me forever.
It hurts that you walk away too easily but you know what hurts the most?
It is me seeing your back walking away from me without looking back.
If you love me, please let me know.
If not, please gently let me go.

Sometimes love just ain’t enough to keep some at your side.
Sometimes we have to let go of someone we used to love not because we want to but we HAVE to.
I can’t stand seeing you not because I hate you but because seeing you reminds me that not everyone I love can be with me.
Sometimes, it is better to love you from afar than telling myself that I can’t have you.

But please I want you to know how much I love you.
Walk with me, stay with me, share your life with me and let’s face the fate together.
I need you and I want you to be in my life.
I don’t want you to forget all the memories we’ve had.
Deep in my heart saying I don’t want you to leave me.

Please stay.



A promise ring which symbolizes your love that cannot be mine.
A love that forever kept deep down in each other’s heart.
That only you and I can only know and cannot put into public. 
Someone owns your heart and so as mine.
Because fate conquers destiny which ends us both with a broken heart.
Destined but not meant to be together as per the fate.
No choice but to go with the flow and let fate rule the present.
We are both on a different path and still choose to go back to each other’s arm. 
However, fate is in the middle and no one can stop it. 
Maybe we should accept the fact that I love you even you are saying to someone I love you too.